June 1, 2002

SETTING MY HEART

Set your affection on things above, not on things on the earth.

Colossians 3:2

Even though I live on this earth, my heart is really in heaven. While I am in this world, for the time being, the Biblical fact is that I'm just passing through.

I am not trying to mimimize living on this planet. My life as a Christian is very important. While I am here, I must live a godly life, show love to others and give respect to everyone.

God has called his children to do our part to be a blessing to others and not cause them pain or grief.

Yet my true love and my deepest hope is in knowing that, once this brief life is over, I will be in heaven with my Savior forever.

This truth keeps me going when times are hard and my problems are more than I alone could handle. I have a hope that outshines the sun!

Even right now my heart is already in heaven. Now it's just a matter of time before my body gets there. Each day the cry of my soul is "Come, Lord Jesus!"

David Berkowitz

June 2, 2002

A SERIOUS CALLING

This is what the Lord has placed upon my heart today. That the intrinsic value of a Christian cannot be measured. We are to be a blessing in this world, a help to people in need, both to those who are Christians and to those who are not. (Galatians 6:9,10).

The Bible says we are the "salt of the earth" (Matthew 5:13a and the "light of the world" Matthew 5:14a). The Bible says we are to shine as lights of hope in a dark place.

Just as the Lord gave Himself as a servant to others, this should be our same attitude.

As one Bible teacher has put it, "Christians are surrounded by misery and should make a serious effort to do whatever possible to alleviate people's suffering."

And this of course doesn't mean that we're to make this world a better place. For the world is presently under the curse of sin and death until the Lord physically returns to rule this planet.

Yet Matthew 23:34-35, for example, makes it clear that we are to help others in their distress and show them compassion and kindness, no matter who they are.

I have not been called to live by myself away from others, but to be a blessing and help to all people as Jesus Christ lives His life through me.

So I want to encourage my brothers and sisters in Christ to make our lives count for God and for humanity, whether the latter appreciates our love or not.

This is a serious calling!

David Berkowitz!

June 4, 2002

PAROLE/DID NOT ATTEND

My parole hearing was scheduled for today. There were eight other men who were scheduled to appear before the parole board from the main prison where I am, as well as twenty-one men from the minimum security "Annex" which is just up the road.

The two parole commissioners had to hold the hearings for each man here in the main prison. Then they had to go down the road to meet with each of those men. So these commissioners had their hands full.

In any event, last week, after thinking things over and doing a lot of soul-searching, I decided that I did not want to attend this hearing. I wrote to my parole officer on May 28 and explained my feelings. She was understanding and said that it would not be a problem if I did not go.

Every inmate has the option to attend his hearing, and of course 99.99 percent of all inmates do attend. But in my case I was probably one of a tiny fraction statewide who opted not to go.

I wrestled with this and asked God for guidance. This was not a hasty decision. However, I felt that by not attending I was clearly demonstrating to the families of my victims that I have absolutely no interest in getting out of prison. I have accepted my sentence. I am doing my time. I hope, therefore, that Michael Lauria and the others will be satisfied with this. There is really nothing more I can do to show them my remorse.

David Berkowitz

June 5, 2002

THE PAROLE BOARD

Virtually all prison inmates long for the day when they can appear before the parole board. Some have waited for this event for five, ten, fifteen, twenty-five or more years. However I was not one of them.

As I mentioned in yesterday's journal entry, I opted not to go. I felt this would be best for the families of my victims. Some of my fellow prisoners agreed with this decision while others just shook their heads. Every prisoner has the right to decline to go to his hearing, although as I also mentioned in yesterday's journal, this rarely happens.

But in my situation I felt it was the right thing to do. For I regret what had happened in the past. As I have said so often, I would do anything if I could take it all back. I wish those crimes never happened. I have publicly apologized for my actions a thousand times.

I have been going through so many stuggles of late. This parole hearing issues was only one of a handful of different trials and tests of my faith.

But in any event, the one drawback from not attending the parole hearing is that the commissioners are required to request my reappearance for the following month. In other words, I will be given the option of going to another parole board, this time in July.

By their own rules, the Office of Parole has to give an inmate another chance to reconsider. I wish this were not the case, but they have their set procedures to follow. Yet in July I can either decline to attend or just go to face them and apologize for the crimes I've been charged with .

David Berkowitz

June 6, 2002

HE COMFORTS ME

Hear my cry, O God; attend unto my prayer. From the end of the earth will I cry unto thee, when my heart is overwhelmed: lead me to the Rock that is higher than I.

Psalm 61:1,2

I was up early this morning pouring my heart out to my beautiful Lord. His face is lovely. His words are warmth and encouragement to a weary soul.

In the night hours the Holy Spirit comforts me and speaks to my heart. And today I had a unique sense of the preciousness of the Lord. Truly He's so wonderful!

For I have been in great inner pain all this week. My spirit has been utterly crushed. It's more spiritual warfare. Many trials have been coming my way.

In one instance, someone in the media has come forth to launch an attack against my testimony. This person wrote to me exactly on my birthday (June 1), and she cloaked herself in a spirit of meanness and spitefulness.

So yesterday evening, in great distress, I took this person's letter to the chapel with me. I tucked it into my Bible, and during our time of corporate prayer, about two dozen Christians prayed over the situation. We prayed for this hardhearted journalist, too.

I asked that all of Satan's works against me be cancelled. I also prayed for God to bless this person, and to even remove the scales from her eyes the way He removed the scales from the eyes of saint-hating Saul of Tarsus.

Neverthe less, these attacks from the evil one (Satan) are par for the Christian's walk. That people come against me is an evident token of God's hands upon my life. And I do forgive all who hate me

David Berkowitz