April 3, 2001
ABC NEWS 20/20 PROGRAM
Today I had the privilege of doing an interview with correspondent Arnold Diaz of ABC’s 20/20 news program.
I had approached this prayerfully and carefully. The Lord seemed to open
this door, and there were many good confirmations that I made the right decision. But
the fact is, I won’t know for sure until the program is aired.
The subject of this program will basically be about crime related memorabilia, items that frequently turn up for sale
bearing the ugly moniker “Son of Sam”, or some of my correspondence—how these things often end up on sites
such as eBay.
I believe the interview went well. Many of Mr. Diaz’s questions
were intense, but he was also very fair.
Before I gave my personal consent to do this, I was visited by Candace Hewitt, one of 20/20’s producers. I shared my hopes, concerns, and even my fears about doing such an interview. She was very sensitive and honest. I
had, in my spirit, the “inner witness” that I was doing the right thing by granting it.
But what really encouraged me to be a part of this project, was that the Director of the City of Houston’s
Crime Victim’s office, Mr. Andy Kahan, had asked me to be a part of this. He
and I have been corresponding back and forth about the subject of “crime memorabilia”. My heart has truly warmed to this man, and I feel so honored that such a person would ask for my help.
In addition, the 20/20 staff tried to obtain permission for Mr. Kahan to come to the prison to participate in the interview. As it turned out, however, the New York State Department of Corrections did not grant
permission for him to attend the filming session because of a rule that “no third parties are allowed to be present
during media interviews with prisoners.”
Nevertheless, I was able to share my faith in Christ. I was able to publicly
apologize for the crimes I had committed in the past. And I got the opportunity
to explain how all these crime glorifying products (everything from serial killer trading cards, to calendars, to sweatshirts)
are not made by he convicted felons themselves.
These tasteless products are instead made and marketed by ordinary people who, without any human sensitivity or compassion,
have decided that making money is more important than any pain and suffering crime victims have to endure when they see all
this junk prospering.
I likewise shared that the making and selling of such things is also very painful for me, that this also causes me
grief and guilt.
So I hope and pray that this program, when it is aired some time in May, will be good and informative.
And come to think of it, in a way this situation reminds me of the Lord Jesus when He went into the Temple
in Jerusalem. He
was angered and grieved by all the open displays of greed and money-marking that was goings on in God’s holy house.
The Lord then took a “scourge” (a whip) and ran through the building driving out the moneychangers and
turning over their tables.
I think that many people in America
wish that Christ would reappear and do the same here, smashing up all the “Murderabilia” merchandise and putting
a stop to this nonsense.
April 16, 2001
Now unto Him that is able to do
exceeding abundantly above all that we could ask or think… Ephesians 3:20
The mail is usually passed out by the cellblock guard at about 4:15 every afternoon, Monday thru Friday. There is no weekend or holiday mail service in or out of the prison, only on weekdays. In here a corrections officer would go from cell to cell handing each inmate his mail.
And so today, as is the routine, I stepped to the front of my cell to receive my letters. I greeted the guard and thanked him. Then I sat down on my
bunk to see what came in. Out of habit, I usually scan through each piece first,
looking at each return address.
I would pretty much read my letters by priority. Some I may choose to
lay aside and read later in the day. Other, like advertisements, junk mail or
any silly letters go right into the trash.
But as I thumbed through the six or so letters I got today, as soon as I saw one particular return address, I froze. I was completely stunned. I even started
talking to myself out loud, asking whys someone like this person would write me. I’m
serious! For a minute or so I stood transfixed, staring at the return address
and asking myself, “Why?”
This person was Darrell Scott, the father of Columbine
High School martyr, Rachel Joy Scott.
I never wrote to him before, and I had no idea that this man even knew I existed.
Plus, it is so ironic because just a few months earlier I had written in my journal for February 28th how
very blessed I was by the book both Darrell Scott and his former wife, Beth Nimmo had written together about their daughter. His letter was a big surprise.
Apparently someone told Mr. Scott that I was encouraged by Rachel’s story.
He said that he had heard about my coming to Christ “some time ago” and that he was “thankful”
for what God has done in my heart.
This brought tears to my eyes. Only the Lord Jesus could grant all this
mercy to me that I would find favor with someone like Darrell Scott.
Furthermore, in his short letter he asked me if I had been forgiven by any of my victim’s families. He also asked if I had developed any relationships with some of them.
I found it amazing that he would ask this when it has been one of the biggest cries of my heart that the forgiveness
he is talking about would one day become a reality. So many of my brethren have
been praying for these very same things: healing, salvation, forgiveness.
Lord willing, I’ll write back to him shortly. The Holy Spirit will
have to give me the words, for I don’t even know how I would begin.
Yes, once again God Almighty has proven to do far more with my life for
the good, that I could ever even think or say. Amen!
David Berkowitz
April 18, 2001
But I have trusted in Thy mercy; my heart shall rejoice in Thy salvation. I
will sing unto the Lord, because He hath dealt bountifully with me. Psalm 13:5,6
These words are so beautiful. Trusting in the Lord, rejoicing in His salvation,
singing songs of praise to God for all the goodness He has shown to all of His children…and yet many times we enter
into the situations and painful trials in which we question everything this Christian life is supposed to be about.
I love passages like the one I just quoted from in Psalm 13. The Bible
is filled with such glorious words. Yet earlier today I had to answer the letter
I received from a dear friend of mine whose twenty-six year old son died unexpected
My Christian friend, Tony, is a youth minister on the west coast. He and
his wife have been serving the Lord faithfully for many years. He often passes
out copies of my testimony and many other tracts to people on the streets of the city he lives in. His letters to me are always
full of encouragement.
Yet his last letter was filled with pain. His heart was broken as he gave
me the news that his dear son was dead. Mark was a budding evangelist and youth
minister. He was a fiery preacher with a burden for souls. Must like his dad. Now Mark is in the grave and his dad was asking me why.
But Tony did not sound bitter, just very troubled. He asked for my prayers. Tony said, ”David, my wife and I are feeling so much pain…” He asked me to pray for their strength.
Then he ended his letter with Romans 8:28.
I asked the Lord for wisdom when replying. But when Tony put “Romans
8:28 at the end of his letter, I realized that he was already beginning to understand that God’s ways are not our ways. His divine understanding is infinite.
I told my dear brother that “God is Love”. That His plans
for our lives do not stop when someone we love dies. The Bible says that “nothing,”
not even “death” shall be able to “separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord”
(Romans 8:38, 39).
Tony and his wife have had their struggles in the past. I’ve had
mine” I’m sure I will have many more in the future. Yet God is still
in control and Tony’s son is definitely in heaven. He has no more temptations
to endure. And even the fruit of Mark’s labors will live on.
I reminded my friend that we Christians are not exempt from suffering. We
Christians do not live on a cloud. We live on this earth and in fleshly bodies
that are frail. We have not gotten our new bodies yet, for the resurrection if
the Just has yet to take place.
I gave Tony my love as I sent him a card to encourage him, and then I sent a letter in a separate envelope. Lord willing, he’ll be receiving these next week. I
assured my brother that I will keep him in my prayers. I would hope took that
other Christians who will be reading this journal will remember to keep Tony and Mary Ann, and the rest of their family in
prayer.
Tony needed to know that the Holy Spirit is an expert comforter. I ended
my letter by asking him to read this passage: 1 Thessalonians 4:13-18.
We believers in Jesus do not have to grieve as others who have no hope. Yes,
we can grieve, for we are but human. But as the ones who have the promise of
our dear Savior’s return, we do not have to mourn forever. One glorious
day, mark will arise from the grave.
David Berkowitz.
April 19, 2001
A VICTORY IN PUERTO
RICO
As is so often the case, the Lord always seems to have some surprises for me.
He is faithful to give me the desires of my heart. One of these desires
is to be able to share my testimony and the Gospel of Jesus Christ with people from all nations, and from all walks of life.
Back in March I learned that some friends who have a ministry in New Jersey, were
invited to go on a short-term missions trip to Puerto Rico.
They were asked by a few churches on the island to conduct a seminar and to give them help getting started with a prison
ministry.
Sister Debbie Carver, who is the founder of “Our Father’s Persistent Love Ministry” (Oakhurst, New Jersey) wrote to tell me about this, and to
ask for my prayers. She said that she was planning on taking both videos (THE
CHOICE IS YOURS and SON OF HOPE) with her. She wanted to show the videos, and
of course there would be an interpreter.
Debbie also told me she was going to take 500 copies of my testimony in Spanish.
I was thrilled with the news. Of course I would have been praying for
this missions trip whether or not they were taking copies of my testimony or the videos.
But knowing these things will be going down there, it’s an added blessing!
The ministry team left Newark’s airport on April
5th, and they returned today. While I did not have the opportunity
to go to Puerto Rico physically, God still had a way of taking me. He did allow me to be a part of what He did, and I was able to offer prayer support for my friends. I am very thankful for these privileges.
David Berkowitz
April 20, 2001
COLUMBINE
The Lord answered my prayer and He gave me the words to say to Darrell Scott, the father of Rachel Joy Scott, who lost
her precious life in the Columbine High
School shooting back in 1999. On April 16th
I received a surprise letter from Mr. Scott. Last night I answered it and my
letter went out this morning. Ironically, today is the second anniversary of
this tragedy. But it really is a coincidence that my reply to him would be going
out to Colorado on this very day.
Well I told Rachel’s dad how grateful I was for being able to read about his daughter’s life. I found the book he and Rachel’s mother wrote to be so inspiring.
I shared with him that I believe the Lord Jesus Christ has given his daughter the desires of her heart because, from
reading RACHEL’S TEARS, I can see that she was a Spirit-gifted missionary. This
is what she wanted to be.
I do hope I was able to encourage him and remind him that his life and hers will never be in vain.
I also told Mr. Scott that on this day I would be doing my part to pray and fast for the youth of our nation. I would have done this anyhow because this is what I had already planned, and I believe
this is what Christ is leading me to do. Then I tried to answer his questions
about forgiveness and establishing relationships with the victim’s families. I
shared that I would love for the chance to speak to these people, to apologize, express my sorrow, reassure them that I am
not getting out of prison, and that I have nothing against any of them, etc.
I told Darrell Scott that these crime victims have every right to have anger and bitterness towards me, and to express
it openly as some of them have done many times during the past twenty-five years.
I also asked Mr. Scott to please pray for these hurting people, and that any suggestions he would have about helping
them to get over their anger and pain, to let me know
Then I concluded my letter by thanking him for reaching out to me and for caring. And not just for me, but for those
who have suffered because of my past crimes.
The best part, I think, was when the Lord had me to remind Darrell that he and the rest of his family are going to
see Rachel again. This is the Lord’s faithful promise for all those who
have died (“fallen asleep”) in Him. I told Mr. Scott to please read
1 Thessalonians 4;13-18.
We believers in Messiah Jesus often need to remind our brothers and sisters who have lost born again loved ones, that
Jesus is coming again for His church. He’s going to be taking us with Him
there is a glorious reunion ahead! “Even so, come, lord Jesus” (Revelation 22:20).
David Berkowitz
April 23. 2001
MURDERABILIA AND COLLECTIBLES
I commented on this subject in my April 3rd journal entry . I
also have an “Official Statement” and some other paperwork on this site regarding the matter of “Murderabilia”
and athe selling of letters, autographs and novelty-type items, which are sold by others.
This is something that grieves my heart. It is something that’s
been going on (in my case) ever
since I was first arrested back in 1977. It may go on long after I am dead and
gone.
Selling crime collectibles is a big thing for some people. And with the
execution of Oklahoma City Federal Building bomber, Timothy J. McVeigh, scheduled to die by lethal injection on May 16th
at the Federal Prison in Terra Houte, Indiana,
you can be sure that these profiteers and makers of crime collectibles will be at work.
Their new McVeigh-related products are now in the making or are all ready to go to market.
I had the feeling this would happen. So this afternoon when I came across
a copy of the NEW YORK TIMES for Thursday, April 19, 2001, I was not at all surprised to see an article on the front page
( (page A-11 titled, “ City consumned in Plans for McVeigh’s Execution.” By Sara Riner.
The article had some comments by Terre Haute mayor
Judith A. Anderson, who said she had been getting a long of calls by people asking if they can sell their McVeigh-related
products. Mayor Anderson was quoted as saying, “A lot of people have been
calling asking if they can sell T-shirts and buttons.” Most of these sellers
are planning on hawking their merchandise right outside the prison grounds in anticipation of the large crowds that may be
gathered there.
Then the article mentioned one particular item. It said in part, “Already
a T-shirt is being offered on eBay bearing a picture of a syringe and the words: Hoosier Hospitality, McVeigh/Terre Haute/May
16, 2001, final Justice.”
In any event, while things like this are inevitable, what was said in the article only confirms what I had said in
my interview with ABC’s 20/20 program, that the prisoners themselves are not the ones behind the making of such products.
I explained that there is no way an inmate who is confined to a maximum security prison (like myself) could possibly
be making and selling such “collectibles” as clocks, calendars, magnets, snow globes, trading cards, or serial
killer board games.
Unknown to much of the public, all these products are not made by the criminals, but by seemingly ordinary law-abiding
citizens who could not care less about any prisoners. Nor have they ever obtained
permission from any of these incarcerated felons.
And quite frankly, I believe these entrepreneurs don’t give a darn about the victims and/or surviving family
members of the crimes that had been committed against them. These crime merchandise
peddlers could not care less about the pain and grief many may suffer when they see a product with their son or daughter’s
picture on it, or the picture of the felon who took that person’s life.
During the 20/20 interview I briefly quoted from the Old Testament prophet, Jeremiah.
I said that the “heart of man is deceitful and desperately wicked” (Jeremiah 17:9). I explained that there are people who, unfortunately,
are selfish and are only out to make money. That they have no concern for the
victims of violent crimes. And places like eBay are filled with such items for
sale.
David Berkowitz
April 27, 2001
MANY ENEMIES/MANY VICTORIES
If the world hates you, ye know
that it hated Me before it hated you. John 15:18
I thank God for all the situations that I must face from day to day. I
believe the Lord has been training me to always have strong faith and good spiritual wisdom and discernment. I am leaning how to handle every problem that arises, not using my own limited abilities, but instead learning
to use the guidance and wisdom of the Holy Spirit.
I really think I am on the devil’s “Most Wanted” list as the spiritual warfare is oftentimes so very
intense. It seems as if there is one challenge after another.
Satan will come at me, as he would come against any Christian, both as a ‘roaring lion” or as an “angel
of light”. There are Wiccans and Satanists who hate me intensely. And they make their hatred known. There
are people, too, who will feign interest in me in seemingly kind ways. But in
due time the Lord will reveal to me that they have a different agenda. So I must
always use caution, and I must stay close to the Lord.
In addition, there are people who would love to destroy and devour the ministry God has given me. Their hatred goes beyond explanation.
I have nothing against anyone. I pray for these people, and for all my
enemies, both known and unknown, some hate me for the past, which I regret with all my heart but cannot change. Others hate me for my bold witness for the Lord and for the way God has blessed my life today.
And of course the devil and all his demons hate me because I belong to Jesus, and I have been washed in His precious
Blood. I have been adopted into sonship with God the Father, and I am now a citizen
of heaven. These are more than enough reasons for the Devil to fume and rage. Amen!
David Berkowitz
April 30, 2001
For our light affliction, which
is but for a moment, worketh for us a far more exceeding and eternal weight of glory.
2 Corinthians 4:17
This was a sparse month for my journal. The going has been hard. There was one trial after another…On the evening of April 3rd my
beloved and faithful typewriter died. It just stopped working, and no amount
of fixing by some of the inmates who are skilled at making broken things start to work again were successful at bringing my
typewriter back to life. One by one they shook their heads and told me there
was nothing they could do. My machine was dead, and that’s all!
Fortunately the Lord was faithful to provide, and my Christian brother, Jesse, ordered another one for me from a company
in the Midwest. This now typewriter arrived
on April 16th. Prior to its arrival I was on my knees everyday as
I waiting for it come. Ha!
And when my new machine came I quickly took it into my prison cell. I
immediately prayed over it, asking the Lord to bless it and keep it working. I
had my own private “Dedication Service” with just me, the Lord, and my new typewriter present. Thus far, it is still working.
Then from this moment I had to tackle two weeks of letters. I was
behind with my mail. So I had to set my journal aside for a little bit.
Furthermore, at the start of April I came down with the flu. It
hit me hard and fast. Then it seemed to go away in a few days, only to come back
at the end of the first week with a vengeance. It lasted more than a week this
time. I couldn’t seem to do much other than lay on my bunk. I had to push myself to do my work assignment.
Now, with this month coming to a close, I am still in recuperation. The
flu is ninety percent gone, but I can still feel some of it in me. I am not yet
at my full strength. Very odd! But
this is the way the month has gone.
However, there were also some good spiritual victories. I did get the
opportunity to glorify the Lord during the interview with ABC’s 20/20 program.
This interview should be aired in May.
Then the Lord made a way for me to share my testimony through some dear friends at “Our Father’s Persistent
Love Ministry (Oakhurst, New Jersey) who went to Puerto Rico for two weeks. And Judge Robert Alexander shared
my testimony up in Watertown, New York.
I also got a lot of letters written to my brethren in Africa. And most of all, without a typewriter, I actually got to spend more time in God’s word. I had a great time reading Isaiah Chapter 53 every day this month as I meditated on the Jewish Passover
which just passed, and how the Lord Jesus was indeed the sacrificial Lamb of
God this chapter prophesied about.
So no matter what I may have gone through during April 2001, the fact is, I am always in victory through my Lord Jesus
Chris. (1 Corinthians 15:57).
David Berkowitz
