April 1, 2002
DARRELL SCOTT / COLUMBINE
I had taken several days off from writing this journal in order to do other
things like catching up on my mail. It's also been a time for some rest.
On Friday, March 29th, it was definitely a "Good Friday". For I was both
blessed and priviledged to have a visit with Darrell Scott. He lost his beloved daughter, Rachel, in the Columbine High School
shooting rampage wich occurred on April 20, 1999.
Darrell came with two other men, John and Danny. They travel all over sharing
the gospel and telling people that God cares about them. He also shares about his daughter, her life and her message of kindness
and compassion. For this was the code Rachel Joy Scott lived by as a faithful witness for Jesus Chtist. And even after her
death, thanks to the efforts of her family , Rachel's life and message live on touching hearts and giving hope.
We all prayed together and had a warm time of fellowship. I told Darrell
that I felt so unworthy to even meet with him. Yet once again God has shown His power and sovereignty by bringing he and I
together.
The Lord has broken down the walls between me, a murderer and convicted
felon, and a man who lost his daughter to gun violence.
Darrell Scott has a vision for discipling Christian teenagers to impact
this world with God's love. I told him that I think this idea is wonderful. I know that his plans and dreams will come to
fruition because we serve a big God. "For with God nothing shall be impossible" (Luke 1:37).
David Berkowitz
April 5, 2002
AN EVIL TIME
"...for the Lord shall be thine everlasting light, and the days of thy
mourning shall be ended."
Isaiah 60:29b
1975-77 was a time of satanic torment for me. It was a period of emotional
turmoil and anguish, of confusion and pressure to be a servant of the devil.
This was an evil time. I regret all that had happened. I completely renounced
my previous pact and all my former prayers to satan. I am so sorry for all the lost lives and for all the pain I caused others.
Yet there comes a time when the shame of the past has to stop. Mourning
must come to an end. There has to be a realization that all the wishing, the grieving and the sadness I have over such devastation
cannot and will not change anything.
There must come a time when these negative feelings and emotions must themselves
be laid to rest. Yes, I should be punished for my crimes. I do not have a problem with this. Becoming a Christian while in
prison should never be a "ticket" out of prison. God forbid!
Still, I have long ago made my peace with God. Jesus Christ has forgiven
me. He has healed my mind and He's broken apart the spiritual chains which Satan had wrapped around me in the past.
Today I am thankful to be forgiven and to be in my right mind. To have
peace, joy and satisfaction knowing that I am a child of God, that I am loved and cared for, this is worth it all. What else
do I need?
David Berkowitz
April 6, 2002
KEEPING ON COURSE
By God's grace I have been continuing to arise in the early hours (most
nights) for times of secret prayer. I am continuing to keep on the "full armor of God" (Ephesians 6: 10-18) so that I will
be able to withstand the temptations and resist those negative feelings of dejection and guilt.
Today is a new day and a beautiful one at that. I spent time in the recreation
yard this morning.
For about 20 minutes I talked with another Christian. He's one of my prayer
parners. But for most of the 1 1/2 hour period I walked by myself in the fresh cool air. I needed to be alone with the Lord.
And I also brought my pocket-sized Gideons Bible to read.
The Lord also once again reinforced in my own spirit the need to continue
to proclaim the message that "There is hope--no matter what!"
As people get tossed about by all the turmoil that's in this world, and
as hearts are filled with fear over all the evil things that are going on around us, Jesus Christ is still the solid Rock and the never-moving Anchor for all those who've placed their faith
and trust in Him.
Nowadays people are in such pain and grief. There are stories of sorrow
and death all around us. Many who are outside of this prison are drowning themselves in alcohol or are taking various drugs to quell the nervousness of their souls.
But Jesus the Messiah is the King of Kings and Lord of Lords. He's my healing
balm. It is the Spirit of Grace which keeps me tranquil and at peace even in my own storms. God is in control, always!
David Berkowitz
April 7, 2002
DANIEL 9:11
As this Sunday comes to a close, I am thankful for the good chapel service
we had this morning and for the chance to once again praise the Lord.
Today I was up early for prayer. And afterwards the Holy Spirit led me
to one of my favorite books and chapters in the Bible, Daniel chapter 9, verse 11:
Yea, all Israel have transgressed Thy law, even by departing, that they
might not obey Thy voice; therefore the curse is poured upon us, that the oath that is written in the law of Moses the servant
of God, because we have sinned against Him.
My joy in the Lord has been full, but my heart has been so heavy over all
that's going on in Israel and the Middle East. Oh how I wish that my fellow Jews would but search the holy scriptures with
open hearts to seek truth for themselves. That they won't allow others to do their thinking for them. As it is written in the law of Moses, all this evil is come upong us; yet made we not our prayer
before the Lord our God, that we might turn from our iniquities, and understand Thy truth. Daniel 9:13
The Lord longs to reach out to Israel and to Jews everywhere. How the Lord
Jesus (Yeshua) wept over Jerusalem, the beloved city who rejected Him
But one day, I believe, people from all nations will see and understand
the truth, that Jesus is the Messiah of the Jews, that He is the Savior of all people.
David Berkowitz
April 8, 2002
I'M BLESSED
Today I feel especially urged to encourage my fellow Christians to get
closer to the Lord than ever before through prayer and by spending time in God's word. I also want ot emphasize the importance
of attending a good fellowship where believers will build one another up in the faith.
I cannot even begin to describe how the Lord Jesus Christ has blessed my
life. With each passing day, even in spite of the opposition and those people who set themselves up against me, my testimony
of God's forgiveness, mercy and grace is going out further. People in many nations are hearing how the Lord saved an abominable
wretch and criminal like me. I am not worthy!
I just finished a letter to an older Christian, a grandmother in her church
in Onalask, Wisconsin. At her request I also wrote a letter to a troubled teenager who got himself arrested and is awaiting
an appearance in juvenile court. He's from a dysfunctional home and is having trouble in school as well as emotionally ( a
suicide attempt). The classic signs of a lonely kid crying out for help and struggling to find his place in this world.
She's his guardian and she will give him (Mike) the letter. My friend Carl
also mailed her a copy of THE CHOICE IS YOURS. This will be for Mike and his friends, all who are heading down the wrong path.
I am thankful to be of usefulness to help others and to reach them with
the gospel.
David Berkowitz
