February 20, 2002
MORE ON PAROLE
I have some strong words to say today. Nevertheless I continue to pray
for the families of those whom I hurt or killed. I am praying for their healing. I have been doing this for many years, and
so have other Christians.
However, I'm sure that this recent burst of publicity is causing my victims
so much anxiety, aggravation, confusion, pain and fear. This is not fair for them, but there's nothing I can do. The news
media does what it wants.
I am convinced, too, that for the most part, some members of the media
have no real concern for crime victims. To them, these are people to use for a story. There is a clever manipulating of emotions
when the media wants a certain reaction and response.
I regret that there is a parole hearing coming up. As I mentioned in yesterday's
journal entry, I have made no preparations for it. This is a source of anxiety and aggravation for me also.
What I see coming (and hopefully this will not happen) is a big media circus.
I see my victims boiling with rage and suffering needless worry. I also see media outlets inadvertently working to create
fear, anger and hysteria, because they have not informed the general public that I am not interested in parole. Instead, the
media,. up to this point, has created an impression that I am seeking release. This of course is a falsehood, but it has had
the effect of agitating people and making them angry.
The truth is, I am not getting out of prison. I am learning to be content
with my present circumstances, and God is using me right where I am.
David Berkowitz
February 22, 2002
ROYCE
I liked Royce as soon as I met him. He somehow managed to find my cell
and in his own stumbling way to ask me for a cup of coffee. He also said that he was feeling down, and that he needed a little
conversation. Royce (not his real name) is almost completely blind; he's also hearing impaired. His clothing always looks
wrinkled, as if he likes sleeping in his prison uniform. This uniform is our State Issued dark green work shirt and heavy
green pants.
No one can help but like Royce. In spite of his wrinkled clothing, he has
a perky personality. Most of the time, especially when he has a cigarette in his mouth. Plain and simple, he's a nice person.
Like many of the men in here, he had a bad drinking problem. He also has
a bad temper. And when ge gets angry he can be mean and nasty, but only for a litle while. It's quite a sight to see a blind
man throwing a temper tantrum, swinging his fists in the air in a wild frenzy, screaming cusses, too.
But other than his mean streak, which usually comes about because of the
idiots who like to tease him. Royce is a great guy to talk with .
I've been telling Royce about Jesus and the gospel. Because he's blind,
a sighted guide must escort him everywhere he goes. However, I haven't been able to take him to the chapel as of yet because
I am not assigned as his guide. But I hope that, maybe in a few months from now, I will be appointed to him.
I've been praying for Royce, and I would love to see him receive Jesus
Christ as his Savior and Lord. I believe this will come in time.
Now that I'm living in a cellblock that has a number of handicapped men,
I can see for myself firsthand how they manage and survive. It really is an impressive sight to see these men, with their
loss of eyesight, hearing, or both, get around with determination and perseverance.
In my opinion, these humble men have a lot to teach healthy people like
myself.
David Berkowitz
